The White Shoe Irregular:
It was fun while it lasted.

The Ralph Macchio Fan Club

Matthew Warnick

Dear Prospective Club Member:

Thank you for your interest in the Ralph Macchio Fan Club. Daniel-Son would be proud of you, as would Mr. Miyagi. By requesting information regarding Karate Kid updates and/or merchandise, you have shown true dedication to the cause of the Ralph Macchio Fan Club. In order to become a full fledged member, you must first participate in a pre-screening process used to determine your level of familiarity with all things Macchio. This process will consist of the consecutive viewing of each of the three Karate Kid movies starring Ralph Macchio, followed by a short quiz that will test your knowledge of Ralph Macchio trivia.

If you successfully pass the examination, you will be initiated as a full-fledged club member by a simultaneous "crane kick" from each the club's current members.

Questions on the test may or may not include the following sample items, included here for your preparation purposes:

Q: What distinctive feature of Daniel's outfit is apparent when he is harassed by Allie for avoiding Johnny and his Cobra Kai friends at school? (A: Camouflage pants)

Q: What famed 80s rock band is seen playing at the Halloween dance in The Karate Kid? (A: Broken Edge)

Q: What is the only other movie in which Ralph Macchio ever appeared outside the Karate Kid series? (A: The Outsiders)

Club meetings are frequently held in your area. Please see the attached flyer for the time and location of the next screening event to be held in your area.

With time and effort, considerable devotion to club duties, and recommendation from your local chapter, you may become eligible for leadership positions. In the Ralph Macchio Fan Club, we are considerate to the needs and interests of each individual. Please fill out and return the enclosed form letting us know of your specific areas of expertise. The following leadership positions are available:

• Karate Belt Ironer
• Bonsai Tree Trimmer
• Head of Dojo Maintenance
• Intermediary to the Peter Cetera Fan Club
• Chairman of the RMCFC (Ralph Macchio Career Furtherance Committee)

Please prepare carefully for your interview following the movies, during which you will be quizzed on your memory of movie specifics. Thank you for your interest in the Ralph Macchio Fan Club.


Chaz Steingardner