The White Shoe Irregular:
It was fun while it lasted.

Two Signs Posted on the Community Bulletin Board in a Houston Housing Project

Quinn Warnick

I.
The temperature in Hell is over three thousand degrees. You can't breathe in Hell — it's too hot. Those in Hell are suffocating forever with screams of horror forever. You must go to church. Don't fornicate. Keep the ten commandments and pray. Get a Bible and know Jesus Christ.

II.
The only way to Heaven is church on Sunday. Heaven is a tremendous thrill of ecstasy forever. Don't fornicate. Don't burn in Hell forever. Stay married. God hates abortion, it's a mortal sin.